Over Playing Your Hand....

I seem to be doing a lot of this lately. And it usually ends up with me standing in the rain, with "The Lonely Man Theme" playing in the background. Well, not really, but it's certainly the theme I hear in my head:



So moving on from the slight possibility that I'm the only person I know who has different theme music for different moments in their life, I seem to find myself in a pressing predicament. I find myself playing what could be argued to be a "long game" professionally. My instinct tells me to be rational. Luckily, work is one of the few places I am actually rational. It will move likely be a test of my patience and temperament. Fingers crossed my rational side wins out.

What I am realising now is that I have no time for rationality when it comes to myself personally. I feel that I lack in certain areas, so to compensate, I set impossibly high standards that I expect myself to reach, and with that have the knowledge that I can at least hold that up next to me. It scares me the amount of pressure I put myself under. Certain things have to be just so. Perfect even.

I recall a friend from school explaining her theory on perfection: her point was that perfection was brought forth from imperfection. If everything was perfect, it would be imperfect. It made for an interesting thought.

This is my friend Eimear and I. :) She was over for a few days. I miss her lots. We might not speak every day any more, but when we do, it's fantastic.

Small side track over.

What I know about myself and over playing my hand, is I tend to do it when I'm happy, I don't think it through and it blows up in my face. I think that there is nothing wrong in what I am doing or saying, when I really haven't given the situation my full attention. And then it's over, and I'm in the metaphorical street in the rain.